Considering
2013 is done and dusted, I thought it might be fun to write my top 5/ bottom 5
movies for the year with the unlucky number in its end. A note to those
concerned that their favourite movie didn't make the list: I didn't watch many
movies in 2013, so there is a chance that if I view your favourite, it will
make the list (I'm particularly keen to see You're
Next and Stoker). So here we go, in
no particular order:
TOP:
Gravity
Gravity is essentially a master-class of
suspense in space. I will argue the merits of this film with anyone that cares
to. It's a visual effects spectacle to be sure, and despite dialogue which was
serviceable but didn't pop, it still managed to engage this viewer so much that
he saw it a second time in the cinema. Bullock proves that she has acting chops
and Clooney is as good as always. An original idea executed almost flawlessly.
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Like Gravity, I believe that The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug,
owes much of its success to its special effects, 3D and visual presentation
(most notably, the high-frame rate technology). Watching The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug feels like looking through a
window into another world. I have a few problems with it, and the film that
preceded it-- and I don't think they are comparable to The Lord of the Rings trilogy, but hey, it's a trip back to
Middle-Earth and it's helmed by Peter Jackson, so that's gotta be worth
something, right? The dragon is amazingly animated, and it sets the benchmark
for dragons in film.
This Is The End
I'm a
sucker for Seth Rogen and co., and This
Is The End delivered for me on so many levels. I know that the whole meta element
of the film (the fact that Seth Rogen and co. play themselves) is probably
pretentious, but fuck me, it worked. I was in stitches at several points--
"What's cheese without a cracker?". This movie has delivered so many
quotable lines, and just sheer hilarious insanity that there was no way I
couldn't include it in my top-five.
Pacific Rim
Pacific Rim is a case of the blockbuster
done properly. I was reluctant to watch this movie-- and didn't at the cinema--
because I thought it was going to be another Transformers style train-wreck (complete with robotic snake monsters
that destroy the city-- seriously, every blockbuster seems to have one of these
now). I should have known better given that fact that Guillermo Del Toro is
responsible for this delightful film. I watched it in 3D on my brand new
television and was pleasantly surprised. Sure, it is a film about giant robots
wailing on enormous beasts from another dimension, but Del Toro injects heart
into the movie, and this makes the battle scenes much more powerful than the
likes of Transformers, or even (dare
I say it) Man of Steel. Pacific Rim doesn't quite achieve 'great'
status; I would have liked a greater exploration of the mind-meld technology (I
seriously think it has the potential to become the new Force ala Star Wars), and
the character development needs... well.. development, but I thoroughly
recommend this one.
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
This is
the latest addition to the list and replaced Iron Man 3. I saw the Anchorman sequel a few days ago and thought
it was hilarious. Will Ferrell's bizarre creation, Ron Burgundy, is
simultaneously repulsive, despicable and utterly loveable. The first film was
loved because of its disregard for logic and its embrace of insanity, and
though the first two acts of Anchorman 2
don't really live up to the zaniness of its predecessor, by the time the third
act rolls around, the viewer will experience the protagonist singing a
passionate ode to a pet shark, and fighting a both a ghost and a minotaur.
BOTTOM:
The World's End
I've
already trashed The World's End in a
movie showdown and it's enough to say that whenever I think back to this film,
I get angry. The logical inconsistencies serve to undermine any supposed depth
the film tries to ensure the viewer it has. Characters that are clearly
average, middle-class British citizens, somehow know how to fight like Bruce
Lee. When characters are this unbelievable, it's hard to feel empathy for them.
The World's End is a lazy film from
lazy film-makers, who possess all the fiery self-righteousness of proud nerds,
but little of the talent to actually create a pop. culture artefact that truly
resonates with nerds. Okay, Shaun of the
Dead was pretty good, but that's about it.
Oblivion
Aesthetically
pleasing but ultimately flat sci-fi that is a blatant rip-off of a much better film
(Moon). I'm not a Tom Cruise hater,
and will defend him in roles like Jerry Maguire or Ethan Hunt till the day I
die, but Oblivion was the dudliest of duds. What's the deal with Tom Cruise, a
fifty-something, having all these twenty-something romantic interests? If the
situation were reversed; if Helen Hunt shared the screen with Channing Tatum,
it would be laughable, but because he is a man, I guess Tom Cruise gets to film
fuck scenes with women young enough to be his daughter. Bit sexist, no? Anyway,
we won't go into that. Suffice to say that Oblivion
blew pretty hard.
Man of Steel
Again, I
think it's a case of finding it hard to empathise with a character that is
clearly unrealistic. They try to do it by showing a young Clark Kent struggling
to control his powers, and by playing up the whole alienation angle, but I'm
not buying it. I mean you'd think that Superman would have super mental health
in addition to super strength, wouldn't you? Am I wrong? (No Adam, you're just
an ass-hole). Russell Crowe was the bomb, though.
The Wolverine
Oh the
potential with The Wolverine! It was
going to be directed by Darren Aronofsky, the brilliant film-maker behind Requiem for a Dream and Black Swan, but he dropped out for some
reason and what we got was like a propaganda film for mediocrity. Hugh Jackman
said in an interview that the reason there was no blood in The Wolverine was because he wanted kids to be able to go to the
movies and see their favourite superhero. Bull-fucking-shit! A
Wolverine-takes-Japan movie needed to have one thing above all else, and that
was the titular hero schinking his claws and fucking beheading people, with
jets of blood pulsating out of open wounds, anime style. I mean, come the fuck
on!
World War Z
Having watched
a lot of Gordon Ramsey's My Kitchen Rules
at the time, I walked out of this one shouting "It's fucking BLAND!"
I don't like shitting on writers, believe me, I really subscribe to the motto
that if you have nothing nice to say, you should shut-the-fuck-up, but how the
hell is Damon Lindleof still finding work? This movie gets points just because
Brad Pitt seems like the kind of guy you'd like to have as a friend, but apart
from that, it's case of too little too late for this zombie apocalypse movie
that was hyped like a mother-fucker and ultimately came dripping out Hollywood
like a turd after eating nothing but soft cheeses for weeks.
Well
that's it! I look forward to watching more movies in 2014, as well as reading
many books (and hopefully finishing the one I'm writing). Currently half way
through reading The Fellowship of The
Ring, in my bid to re-read The Lord
of the Rings, and will post a review when I'm done.
Thanks
for reading,
Adam.
