Sunday, January 19, 2014

No Carbs! by Adam Henderson FREE

Hello all,

My novella No Carbs! is available to download for FREE in both epub and mobi ebook formats. It took me a while to figure how to publish free ebooks, but now that I have, you can look forward to more free publications from me.


Synopsis:

After morbidly obese Ronald Portman is humiliated by the woman he loves, he decides that he has had enough of being a perpetual fat joke and enrols in a weight-loss program he finds online-- one that is run by a mentally unstable war veteran, which has only one rule: No Carbs! The rule might be simple enough, but Ronald is about to find out that the punishment for breaking it is murder!

FREE DOWNLOAD:


- Epub (via Lulu)

- Mobi (via File Dropper)

I would love it so much if you could read my novella and leave me some feedback either via comment on this blog or email at adam.henderson86@mail.com.


Thank-you so much.


- Adam.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

2013 Movies Top 5/ Bottom 5.

Considering 2013 is done and dusted, I thought it might be fun to write my top 5/ bottom 5 movies for the year with the unlucky number in its end. A note to those concerned that their favourite movie didn't make the list: I didn't watch many movies in 2013, so there is a chance that if I view your favourite, it will make the list (I'm particularly keen to see You're Next and Stoker). So here we go, in no particular order:

TOP:

Gravity



Gravity is essentially a master-class of suspense in space. I will argue the merits of this film with anyone that cares to. It's a visual effects spectacle to be sure, and despite dialogue which was serviceable but didn't pop, it still managed to engage this viewer so much that he saw it a second time in the cinema. Bullock proves that she has acting chops and Clooney is as good as always. An original idea executed almost flawlessly.


The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug



Like Gravity, I believe that The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, owes much of its success to its special effects, 3D and visual presentation (most notably, the high-frame rate technology). Watching The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug feels like looking through a window into another world. I have a few problems with it, and the film that preceded it-- and I don't think they are comparable to The Lord of the Rings trilogy, but hey, it's a trip back to Middle-Earth and it's helmed by Peter Jackson, so that's gotta be worth something, right? The dragon is amazingly animated, and it sets the benchmark for dragons in film.

This Is The End



I'm a sucker for Seth Rogen and co., and This Is The End delivered for me on so many levels. I know that the whole meta element of the film (the fact that Seth Rogen and co. play themselves) is probably pretentious, but fuck me, it worked. I was in stitches at several points-- "What's cheese without a cracker?". This movie has delivered so many quotable lines, and just sheer hilarious insanity that there was no way I couldn't include it in my top-five.

Pacific Rim



Pacific Rim is a case of the blockbuster done properly. I was reluctant to watch this movie-- and didn't at the cinema-- because I thought it was going to be another Transformers style train-wreck (complete with robotic snake monsters that destroy the city-- seriously, every blockbuster seems to have one of these now). I should have known better given that fact that Guillermo Del Toro is responsible for this delightful film. I watched it in 3D on my brand new television and was pleasantly surprised. Sure, it is a film about giant robots wailing on enormous beasts from another dimension, but Del Toro injects heart into the movie, and this makes the battle scenes much more powerful than the likes of Transformers, or even (dare I say it) Man of Steel. Pacific Rim doesn't quite achieve 'great' status; I would have liked a greater exploration of the mind-meld technology (I seriously think it has the potential to become the new Force ala Star Wars), and the character development needs... well.. development, but I thoroughly recommend this one.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues



This is the latest addition to the list and replaced Iron Man 3. I saw the Anchorman sequel a few days ago and thought it was hilarious. Will Ferrell's bizarre creation, Ron Burgundy, is simultaneously repulsive, despicable and utterly loveable. The first film was loved because of its disregard for logic and its embrace of insanity, and though the first two acts of Anchorman 2 don't really live up to the zaniness of its predecessor, by the time the third act rolls around, the viewer will experience the protagonist singing a passionate ode to a pet shark, and fighting a both a ghost and a minotaur.


BOTTOM:


The World's End



I've already trashed The World's End in a movie showdown and it's enough to say that whenever I think back to this film, I get angry. The logical inconsistencies serve to undermine any supposed depth the film tries to ensure the viewer it has. Characters that are clearly average, middle-class British citizens, somehow know how to fight like Bruce Lee. When characters are this unbelievable, it's hard to feel empathy for them. The World's End is a lazy film from lazy film-makers, who possess all the fiery self-righteousness of proud nerds, but little of the talent to actually create a pop. culture artefact that truly resonates with nerds. Okay, Shaun of the Dead was pretty good, but that's about it.

Oblivion



Aesthetically pleasing but ultimately flat sci-fi that is a blatant rip-off of a much better film (Moon). I'm not a Tom Cruise hater, and will defend him in roles like Jerry Maguire or Ethan Hunt till the day I die, but Oblivion was the dudliest of duds. What's the deal with Tom Cruise, a fifty-something, having all these twenty-something romantic interests? If the situation were reversed; if Helen Hunt shared the screen with Channing Tatum, it would be laughable, but because he is a man, I guess Tom Cruise gets to film fuck scenes with women young enough to be his daughter. Bit sexist, no? Anyway, we won't go into that. Suffice to say that Oblivion blew pretty hard.

Man of Steel



Again, I think it's a case of finding it hard to empathise with a character that is clearly unrealistic. They try to do it by showing a young Clark Kent struggling to control his powers, and by playing up the whole alienation angle, but I'm not buying it. I mean you'd think that Superman would have super mental health in addition to super strength, wouldn't you? Am I wrong? (No Adam, you're just an ass-hole). Russell Crowe was the bomb, though.

The Wolverine



Oh the potential with The Wolverine! It was going to be directed by Darren Aronofsky, the brilliant film-maker behind Requiem for a Dream and Black Swan, but he dropped out for some reason and what we got was like a propaganda film for mediocrity. Hugh Jackman said in an interview that the reason there was no blood in The Wolverine was because he wanted kids to be able to go to the movies and see their favourite superhero. Bull-fucking-shit! A Wolverine-takes-Japan movie needed to have one thing above all else, and that was the titular hero schinking his claws and fucking beheading people, with jets of blood pulsating out of open wounds, anime style. I mean, come the fuck on!

World War Z



Having watched a lot of Gordon Ramsey's My Kitchen Rules at the time, I walked out of this one shouting "It's fucking BLAND!" I don't like shitting on writers, believe me, I really subscribe to the motto that if you have nothing nice to say, you should shut-the-fuck-up, but how the hell is Damon Lindleof still finding work? This movie gets points just because Brad Pitt seems like the kind of guy you'd like to have as a friend, but apart from that, it's case of too little too late for this zombie apocalypse movie that was hyped like a mother-fucker and ultimately came dripping out Hollywood like a turd after eating nothing but soft cheeses for weeks.

Well that's it! I look forward to watching more movies in 2014, as well as reading many books (and hopefully finishing the one I'm writing). Currently half way through reading The Fellowship of The Ring, in my bid to re-read The Lord of the Rings, and will post a review when I'm done.

Thanks for reading,

Adam.